That Guys on Heroin

So besides the fact that this site is not solely about Heroin (although I wish it was sometimes - since it's pretty much all I think about during the day), I intentionally avoided giving it a name like Memoirs of Heroin Addict, or My Junky Addiction, or Diary of a Junk Fiend. Why? Because if you try to search for heroin blogs and come across anything that sounds remotely like this - it's going to be 1 of 3 things.

1. Tragically hip doper, who is too dark for this world, and you won't understand anyway. He's already resigned to dying, so he's a self fulfilling prophecy - Giving those of us who like our lives, and would prefer to go living, even with dope, a bad name. They say things like "I was born an infant crackhead to an impoverished baby mama, ignored, abused, abandoned for 15 years. And then I stuck a sharp in my arm, and my life changed forever"

2. The current recovery Junky. The ex addict who is now  equally as addicted to support groups and therapy work, as they ever were to drugs. And Lord Almighty, if you suggest that "recovery" may not be in the cards for you - will you ever get an earful about how you deserve to be happy, and free yourself from the bondage of escapism through substance abuse. They say things like (and this was a direct quote to me once - I grabbed it from a PM):
"Go to the nearest mirror. Drink in your reflection for a brief moment. And then, out loud, whilst looking directly into your own eyes, tell yourself "You're beautiful. You deserve happiness. You deserve to be sober. At the moment, things are not okay. But I will be okay. I love you."

3. The user educator. S/he hasn't quite managed to quit yet, but they know EVERYTHING about the social and legal ramifications of drug use - buying, selling, quitting, therapy, not giving up. But as enlightened as they try to sound. They were the Kingpin at the time of their heaviest use. And no matter, who they are talking to or what type of addiction you've gone through. It's not like theirs. THEY were addicted because they were trying to suppress the memory of being raped at 16 by an uncle. And it took YEARS of therapy to realize that. But even though they might go 6 months at a time without using, the relapse is inevitable. And the pattern starts all over again, but the holier-then-though attitude remains the same.

Me? I'm none of those. Yeah, I guess there is some kind of chemical dependancy. I go through withdraws when I don't use, blah blah blah, and yeah, I am in therapy for it. BUT. I like heroin. I like the high. I played a game where I hid it from every single person of signifigance in my life for over 10 years. But now that I'm open about it, I love it. Yeah there are still some shitty things, like my bf not wanting his dad to see me over Christmas, because my arms are too pin-cushin-y.  But overall, I take it at face value. I'm not tragically hip, I lead a Leave it to Beaver childhood, and I've had basically no serious tramadic events in my entire life (until just recently, but I was using for 9 years before that, so I don't think it counts). I just like drugs. All drugs. But yeah, I lean towards junk. Whatever. Stay off my back about it, and yeah maybe I'll think about cutting back, not... NOT quitting. That's not in my vocabulary. I'm no quitter, sir!

That is why I felt such a sense of relief when I came across this blog... Finally... let's put some humor behind this thing... this somber, sober thing called Heroin. Even I can't deny there are some really shitty things about it - but adding humor doesn't trivialize it. It just makes it human. So, may I present to you... That Guy Is On Heroin.

Some pics of archived months, showing people in the various forms of nodding off. Living in Downtown LA at Pershing Square, I can definitely relate to seeing this on the streets, on a not to infrequent basis, lol.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for making me laugh. And for keeping the streets of Baltimore free from Zombies, who would no doubt go after my stash first. (if I even lived near Baltimore). But with you in the streets, fighting for us, I feel I'm in a safer world.

::Tips hat in respect::