Death to Quest

It’s time for a full-blown Deemster_Diva Split Open and Melt Down, readers. Wait for it…. Wait for it… Wait for it….

I am so sick to death and passed my wits end with Quest Diagnostic and all corporate chain blood drawing centers I can barely contain my disgust. First, let me give you a little backstory. Before this need to have bloodwork arose, there’s been three other times over the last, say 8 years that I’ve needed IV injections. None of them have been pleasant and only one successful. That one time was during an ER visit when I woke to find my right arm was inexplicably paralyzed. Turned out I had suffered extreme nerve damage by sleeping on my neck wrong had radial neuropathy. It left me paralyzed from well over six-months. It was a very harrowing and depressing period of my life. Especially because all the doctors told me it was likely never going to heal. And for six months, it didn’t. There was no improvement whatsoever. I began to lose hope, until suddenly like magic overnight it started to get better. There was zero improvement for six months, then full recovery in two weeks. I’ve thank God for my recovery each and every day since then. But when I initial went to the ER to get it checked out, the doctor took one look at me, sneered and walked away. The phlebotomist eventually came over and told me he needed to draw blood. I explained that I was an IV drug user and that this might be challenging, but he never once made me feel subhuman tried to tell me that I brought this all on myself (which had been my usual experience with medical staff). He was extremely patient and took his time. We had to try a few odd place, but he took my advice and worked with me on it and eventually, yes, we were able to draw blood. Shortly after as I was waiting for the doctor, I heard him pull the phlebotomist aside and ask, “Does she use drugs?” He answered very matter-a-factly that yes “I was an IV drug user.” When the doctor finally did make his way over to me. He told me that I had a stroke due to the containments of heroin and I needed to stay in the ER overnight for evaluation and that it was probably building up in my heart causing an infection (despite the fact that I had no signs of infection). He didn’t once touch me or try to gauge the seriousness of the paralysis, or even look at my arm at all. Even when my CAT scan came back negative, he said there was no other possible explanation. Every word was laced with disgust and ugliness, like I had the plague and was the dirtiest person he had yet to come across during his medical profession. When I tried to explain that it wasn’t my right side that was paralyzed it was just my arm, not even my fingers, a clear indicator that I absolutely didn’t suffer a stroke, as the medical evidence supported, he snarled something like “Well you can leave if you want, but you’ll probably just have another stroke. And then launched into what filth heroin is and walked away, without even dismissing me. I got up and walked out of that hospital and have never even seen a bill for any of the tests they ran. I’m hoping that’s because when the people in billing or administrative staff saw what a poor job this doctor had done and what a mess he made out of the situation, they decided I didn’t deserve to be billed. If a bill had come I would have fought it tooth and nail.

But that incident forced me to seek further medical attention, because I still couldn’t move my arm. So I went to my boyfriend’s family doctor. Although he doesn’t support or condone my drug use, he knew of my history and told me flat out that he would try his very best to not let his personal opinions about my heroin use interfere with his diagnosis and treatment, which I was very thankful for.  He was the one who correctly diagnosed me with radial neuropathy. But in order to prove his diagnosis, I needed to have a couple of MRI’s done, one with contrast (the second time I’ve need a test with die running through the veins for better definition in the scan) and one without. The one without went fine. But the one with contrast never happened. During that period of time, I was not using. I was taking some time off so I hoped my veins would have had time to heal. But unfortunately the phlebotomist (or whoever is responsible for injecting you with dye) wasn’t all that experienced, and although neither him nor the doctor on staff made me feel responsible or treated me subhuman, I could tell this guy was just about to break. He felt so uncomfortable having to stick me so many times, I felt bad for him. I offered to try myself, but of course they turned me down and I eventually had to leave when the next patient was scheduled.

So, when I found out I needed blood work done yet again, I was less than enthused about the idea. But as it turns out, my boyfriend who I have repeatedly shared needles with has Hep C. So for the time being I’m working under the assumption that I have it as well and have actually already been to the doctor about it multiple times. One of the best Hep C specialist in Los Angeles eventually agreed to take me on as a patient. He wanted to start treating me right away, despite the lack of official evidence, but the insurance companies won’t pay for the treatment unless they have the proof of bloodwork. So off I went to Quest, blood work prescription held tightly in my hot little hand to try my luck one more time and get the insurance companies the proof they so adamantly need.

The first day I went, I had a girl who was clearly very capable, but like the MRI guy, was also clearly uncomfortable with the fact that she had to stick me so many times. Kind of a funny thing to note, they were both clearly Asian immigrants and both clearly had hearts of gold and just didn’t want to hurt me. But she was tenacious and she took my advice and it was the only time during this whole ordeal that we actually did get blood drawn, it just wasn’t enough blood to do a full test. After a while, she even gave me the needle and let me do it myself. Over the course of an hour or more, we got a significant amount of blood. She would take a turn, then I would. Then a patient would come and I’d rest with a hot pack on my arm and we’d try again. I really thought we were going to get it done. That is, until her boss came in. As sweet as she was, my situation had clearly pushed her to her limits and when her boss came in, she was immensely relieved to hand me over to someone more capable. Unfortunately, her boss was not as patient and had no tolerance for letting me do it myself. I feel bad, because I think I got her in trouble when he found out. But I didn’t know he would react that way. Once he heard the whole story, he said “Well I’ll stick you one more time. But we have rules about this. We can’t stick you more than six times and it looks like you’ve clearly had more than that.” He tried one more time in a spot she had already attempted, despite my protests and told me I had to leave and to go to another Quest that had more experienced phlebotomists.

Well, that same guy runs both Quests downtown. So they all follow his rules. But, I need this bloodwork done, so I went over there a couple days later. And sure enough, he’s there. He watches me like a hawk the whole time, afraid I’m going to rip the needle out of the girls hand and gab it on my own arm, no doubt, and after six attempts he kicks me out. I go back again a few days later. This time he’s the phlebotomists on duty. It was like he was accepting not to get it done. He went through the motions, gave it 6 half-hearted attempts and I was out of there in under 10 minutes. Now I’m pissed. I’ve been three times, I’m not getting anywhere with these guys, nobody is skilled enough to handle a patient with problem veins. They don’t have any needles smaller than a 25 gauge. They won’t go anywhere but the arms. And they only give it six attempts before kicking you out. But I had heard there was a good phlebotomists at a Pasadena Quest. I made an appointment at that location for this past Tuesday. This time, I’m really hopeful. I’m psyching myself up for actually getting it done. I should mention, this entire time, I’ve stopped IVing in my arms. I’ve haven’t touched them for weeks now, in hopes that it would give them a better chance at finding a good vein. I’ve even resorted to IMing when necessary. So I’m taking this very seriously and trying to do my part as well. I’m not spending hours in the morning digging around trying to find a vein, making it futile for any phlebotomist to get any blood. I’m really trying to make this as easy as possible.

So I show up at the Pasadena location and I’m the only patient there. I’m nervous, but as I said, hopeful. When I get in the room he asks me what arm I think he should try. I give him my right arm and tell him that the best bet is probably going to be the vein running down the back. He ignores me and starts poking the main vein in the crook of the elbow. Well, I have really bad nerve damage there. The guy from the ER tried that one too, but if a needle goes in that area anymore, it’s like 1,000 bolts of lightning surging through my body and I literally convulse.  I tell him this, but he wants to try it anyway. Within 2 second of the needle going in, I’m convulsing. And he asks, “Do you want me to pull it out?” No, this is cool. You shouldn’t have a probably getting blood while I’m seizing in the chair, right? I mean? What the fuck? So he pulls out and looks at my arm. Then looks at the other one – only the two main veins in the elbow crooks again – mind you. He mumbling, Oh, I don’t know. I don’t see anything. I don’t know where I can go on you.” So I mention again, “I know that blood can be drawn from the one on the back of my right arm.” He looks at it and say “Oh, I can’t go there. You’re going to have to go somewhere else. I can’t do you.” What? One attempt? In a vein you knew wouldn’t work and you kick me out? And it really confused me because this guy was recommended from a fellow IV drug user who said that he took his time, was patient and I know he didn’t use one of those two main veins. What happened to this guy? Even rookie phlebotomists know you can go in other veins when necessary. They usually still stick to the arms, but I’m okay with that.

I’m just so frustrated with Quest. They’ve taken over an entire market. Put all the ma and pop shops out of business, most doctors don’t even do in house blood work these days. They’re run like a brain dead corporation, with their stupid 6-attempts only rule. That’s for the protection of the patient. If you’ve got a patient like me who needs more than six attempts and does more than 6 attempts a day on my own, and I’m saying I don’t mind, do more than six. They would be perfectly willing to make an exception for “corporate procedure” and do whatever it takes to get my blood work done. Period. I want to walk in there and not walk out until the vile is completely full. Instead they act like they don’t have the time, they’re just too damn busy for me (huge eye roll) and pass me back and forth like a hot potato between locations, pawning me off to the next guy just so they don’t have to do something that’s hard. I think they’d be perfectly fine doing that for the rest of my life without anyone ever getting the job done. Where is the sense of duty, the work ethic, the patient empathy, the pride in work? They could care less that I have Hep C and will eventually die if I don’t get treated. And I can’t get treated without their help. I know that’s extreme and I’m a long way from dying. It may be extreme, but at the core, it’s also the truth. In addition to their total lack of care or customer service, 99% of their locations aren’t equipped to handle anything more than urine test and blood work for the easiest of patients. I think it’s a stupid rule that I’m not allowed to attempt it myself while supervised. I mean I do this 6 or 8 times a day sometimes on my own and am always successful. But whatever, I’ll won’t go down on them too hard for that one. But they don’t carry small needles, in fact the first woman I had was shocked to hear I used a 29 gauge. She believed, and I can only assume she told this bit of nonsense from Quest, that using anything smaller than a 25 could cause ruptured veins. They don’t have specialist who have experience with difficult patients. And anytime it gets hard, they send them somewhere else, so they’ll never have specialists. They aren’t allowed to go anywhere else but the arms. Even hospitals go into the legs when necessary. They don’t offer any service other than the bare basics. I know you get can hemoglobin finger-prick testing, which I’m going to need every two week for 7-8 months when treatment starts. I asked and they said “No, we need the full vile for testing.” No, you don’t. My Hep C doctor told me these tests were available, you only need like two drops of blood. I’m sure some Quest out there is up-to-date enough to offer that service. I just pray I can find one close to me. Because it’s taken me a month and I still haven’t got the blood drawn for the first round of tests. There is not a snowball’s chance in hell that I would be able to get it done every two weeks. If you are going to monopolize an entire industry, at least have the decency to offer every single service and be equipped to handle every type of patient.

Is my frustration coming through clearly? I just want to make sure you get the magnitude of my contempt for this situation.

So we’ve been brainstorming ideas for moving forward. Because I clearly can’t keep spinning around this hamster wheel. There is a Mega-Quest over in the Pasadena or Altadena area near a hospital that does actually offer like every service. People who need to have bloodwork down three times a day, or stool samples, things like that. And my boyfriend during his tweek years (so his veins were in REALLY bad shape) went there and got a doctor to draw his blood who had been practicing medicine for like 30 years and was also an IV drug user for many years. That’s the guy I want. We called over there today and the receptionist thought she knew who he was talking about and that yes, he did in fact still work there. As another alternative, I found out my Suboxone doctor’s office does in-house bloodwork. Who better to go to than a doctor who specializes in IV drug users? I hope beyond hope that one of these two options pans out. I know that one of them is still a Quest, but if any Quest can do it, it should be that one (the way they all should be). Also, I think they are by far my best bet for the finger-prick hemoglobin testing.

So keep your fingers crossed for me! I can’t believe what a nightmare this has been. I never thought I’d be sick of getting stuck by needles.

Police: Denver Man Ate Pot-Infused Candy Before Shooting Wife

Oh Lord, here we go. Pot makes people kill other people. Got it. You see how they randomly linked the two incidents together like they one couldn't have happened without the other? What other things happened that day that might be a more reasonable explanation for his behavior? We'll probably not ever know, because as soon as law enforcement got the sent of drugs - and pot at that (isn't it legal in CO???) - they just used it as another excuse to "prove" their already debunked view on drugs. Just when you think you just might see a silver lining and a positive change in the critical mass, something like this happens and you're reminded that you don't live in such a foreword thinking place after all. It's rules and regulations over personal freedom are more draconian than anything else. Makes me sad :(

"A Denver man accused of shooting his wife while she was on the phone with 911 dispatchers had eaten marijuana-infused candy before the incident, authorities say.
Detectives are investigating whether the candy had influenced his actions, the Associated Press reports. Richard Kirk, 47, is being investigated as a suspect in the shooting but charges have not been filed. Investigators reportedly found receipts for “Karma Kandy Orange Ginger” and said he appeared under the influence of drugs during an interview. They’re investigating whether there were any other drugs in his system at the time of the shooting." READ MORE...

http://time.com/67999/police-denver-man-ate-pot-infused-candy-before-shooting-wife/

Black Tar vs. White Powder: The Final Showdown!

There is a very big misconception among heroin users that white powder heroin is purer that black tar heroin. This false information is so fervently believed that most people, especially on the east coast, take it for granted. But the truth is, the color of the heroin has absolutely nothing to with the quality. Many people say that black tar is dark because of the adulterants added when manufactured. Although the manufacturing process is responsible for the color, it has nothing to do with purity. Even if that was the case, it would make more sense logically that black tar would be more pure, because it's almost identical to pure opium.

Black Tar Heroin

The truth is, all heroin that is common in The States - white powder, black tar, brown powder, all of it - varies in purity and none is inherently more pure than the others. The color is dependent on the process used to manufacture the heroin. Most white powder comes from Turkey poppy fields and is often manufactured in France. Black Tar is typically from Mexico, although Columbia is quickly becoming a sizable producer. The Golden Triangle, which is an area of Indochina that overlaps three Southeast Asia countries, Myanmar, Laos and Thailand, and is known for its heavy heroin production, can produce white powder, black tar, brown powder and even red heroin.

 Black tar is typically seen on the West Coast and is sold in balloons or in grams. White powder is predominantly on the east coast and often comes in stamp bags. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. Black tar is much more difficult to cut. However, due to the fact that it’s cooked with vinegar and other harsh ingredients, it's much more damaging to your veins. However, it burns at a much lower temperature, making it easy to smoke. Smoking, when done efficiently, produces a similar rush as IV'ing, that can’t be experienced with any other RoA. White heroin is very inefficient to smoke do to its high burn temperature.

White Powder Heroin

When a white powder user does not wish to IV, insufflation is usually the RoA of choice.  The black tar and white powder heroin available today, and all the variants in-between, are at an all-time high in terms of potency. I have a home testing kit and it’s rare that I buy anything that’s below 70%. Of course, that’s through a dealer and not on the streets. Heroin you buy on the streets is much more likely to be heavily cut. All that being said – black tar heroin is much more consistent in it's quality. White powder is much more variable. On top of that, is it frequently cut with strychnine, which imitates the bitter taste of heroin. While black tar can be more damaging to your veins, at least it doesn’t pose the same life or death threat as heroin cut with strychnine

But let’s take a step back. An informed drug user is a safe drug user. What is the difference between white powder and black tar? One of the reasons that white powder is rumored to be more potent is because when it is first produced, it is very, very pure. But between Turkey, France, the UK, the US and then every wholesaler and independent dealer down the inventory gets cut every step of the way. As opposed to black tar, which only has to travel from Mexico or South America to California. It’s a much simpler process that help ensure it’s relatively untouched from manufacturer to consumer.

Strictly speaking, black tar is not entirely heroin. It’s a mixture of heroin, morphine, 6-AM, and other lesser ingredients. The

White Powder in Stamp Bags

proportion of these precursors in any given batch is variable. Thus, the potency and quality can fluctuate by batch. Because of the high Morphine levels in black tar heroin, IV users sometimes experiences a histamine reaction after an injection.
White powder on the other hand is typically manufactured as heroin that is about 90% pure. But it rarely makes it past the first level of distribution before it is drastically cut. As it continues to make its way to the streets, it’s cut at every level. In the 1970’s this was a big problem. In the heroin capital of the world, Harlem, New York, it was only at best 30% pure. In the suburbs, it was only 5-10% pure. Today, we are graced with the highest purity heroin that the United States has ever seen. 60-80% heroin is very common – no matter what the type.

Heroin in Balloons

I’ve lived on the east coast (born and raised a Jersey Girl) and I’ve spent a significant percentage of my adult life in California. I’ve had plenty of access to both white powder and black tar. Although I’ve had some stellar white powder, I can’t say that I would prefer it over black tar. Again, it’s much more variable in its purity. At least I know I’m getting a fairly steady product with my current black tar connections. As I mentioned, I do have a heroin purity test as well. Although I can typically tell from a single shot whether the heroin has been significantly cut, it’s always nice to test the results with a kit.
Bottom line, just because your heroin is white doesn’t mean it’s pure. I guess this naive thinking has something to do with notion that white equals pure. I’m not sure. But it’s simply not the case. If you want to find out for certain whether your heroin is pure or not, Amazon offers heroin purity kits, as do many other online retailers. Spend $20 and test for yourself. But please, don’t fall for these irrational, baseless wives tales about white heroin being “purer” that black tar. It’s just another junky myth.

10 MORE Things That Suck About the Drug Culture!

As much as I like to think that drugs are the answer to all of life's problems, if I'm being realistic about it, there are definitely a lot of things that suck about the drug culture. As I'm sitting here pinning over the fact that I'm not using meth, ("Oh poor me, I can only slam heroin all day long and get stoned." Life sucks. Yeah, I know how lame that sounds.) I figured I'd focus my energy elsewhere. So,  ready or not... the second incarnation of Things I Hate About the Drug Culture!

1. People who don't think that they're junkies just because they don't mainline, or even use heroin. 

This guy knows what's up.

If you are addicted to opiates, you are a junky. Pure and simple. You don't need to IV to be a junky. You don't even have to use
heroin to be a junky. If you are addicted to Oxycotin, Methadone, Morphine, Vicodine or Codeine, you're a junky. But if you are addicted to Vicodine or Codeine, you should probably switch to something that doesn't have Tylenol. Otherwise, you will fuck up your kidney's permanently. Either that, or do what I do when I suddenly find myself with 25-75 Vicodine. Do a cold water extraction. The taste is bitter, but it's fairly simple and you remove all of the Tylenol. But don't kid yourself about being a junky. If your day revolves around how and when you are able to cop and use opiates of any sort, you are a junky.

2. People who go on Methadone maintenance but continue to use heroin, yet still tell you that they're quitting. 
No you're not. Methadone intensifies the heroin high. If you are using both you aren't following the program. You are just getting more bang for your buck. So if you do find you are using less to start, it's just because you need less. But that tolerance will go up as well, and then you'll be addicted to two different opiates and a Methadone detox takes much longer. You are just hurting yourself, and you're not fooling anyone.

3. Actually... Methadone in general is a pet peeve of mine. Especially when people try to push Methadone on you when it's
easy enough to go to a Suboxone doctor to get a script. Suboxone has so many advantages over Methadone. Suboxone removes the ability to get high, or at least makes it much more difficult. (I've certainly circumnavigated the effects of Suboxone with enough heroin, but that option is not financially feasible long term.) You can't OD on Subxone. It's much easier to ween yourself off of and doesn't require medical supervision. If you are serious about quitting, Suboxone is by far the best option. And don't be nervous about going to the doctor just because you're a junky. That's what the Suboxone doctor is there for. He had to go through specialized training just to be able to prescribe Suboxone. He is sympathetic to the needs of IV drug users, otherwise he wouldn't have bothered to go through all that hassle. And with all the money you are saving from cutting out your largest expense, you should definitely be able to pull together some cash for a doctors visit.

One thought keeps leading to the next today...

4. Doctors who AREN'T sympathetic to the unique needs of IV drug users. You took the Hippocratic Oath. You made a promise to treat ALL patients and to act in their best interest. It's like some doctors just don't consider junkies people. One time, the hospital advertised for the treatment of abscesses and other drug related problems. But when I went in to have multiple abscesses looked at, I was given ample amounts of attitude and was told it was my own fault. Yeah, well... I know that. But I'm still  here and I still need treatment.

(Side Note: After that incident, we just started treating abscesses ourselves. It's easy enough to do. Just keep draining it and sanitizing it. You can even buy the appropriate antibiotics from an online pet store. The exact same antibiotics they prescribe for abscesses are used for birds and fish.  You just need to calculate the correct dosage.)

Another time I went to the ER for something totally unrelated to my drug use. Once the doctor saw my track marks, he told me I had a stroke due to my drug use (by the way.... I was trying to quit at the time, so I hadn't used in a couple of weeks). He wouldn't touch me - it was like I was a leper or something. He barely spoke to me - just about me loudly to the other medical staff. He wouldn't even consider that it could be anything else. He almost demanded that I stay in the hospital to be monitored - even after the CAT scan results came back negative. I've rarely met anyone so thickheaded, stubborn and self righteous. By the way, after a second opinion, it turned out I just had some nerve damage in my shoulder. I have never felt so subjugated and menial. A doctor should never make you feel that way - no matter what life choices you make.

5. Cigarettes are still a drug, so I'm including this one.... People who want to ban the use or sale of e-cigarettes. This is so infuriating it makes my blood boil. E-cigs have helped countless people quit smoking. New York wanted to ban them because people might view smoking as social acceptable. Since when does the government have any right to dictate what is social acceptable? In Los Angeles, they are banned anywhere smoke is. So I'm not allowed to walk my dog in the large outdoor park next to my apartment (Pershing Square, DTLA). That's completely insane. No one is allergic to them. No one can smell them. They aren't bad for your breathing. They cause zero pollution. It's WATER VAPOR people! I should be able to smoke an e-cig in a airplane if I want. (I'm not. I tried the last time I flew. You can do it in the bathroom though. No one will ever know because they don't actually smoke!) People have called them started cigarettes. Total Bullshit. No kid is going to think that e-cigs are "cooler" to start than regular cigarettes. But even if that was the case, the government cracked down on flavored tobacco because it was more appealing to kids. So if  you must, do the same thing with e-cigs. Ban all the disgusting fruity flavors. But don't try to make them out to be worse than regular cigarettes! Alright, nuf said about that. But... if "they" win and e-cigs are banned, I'm suing someone.

6. People who can't handle their acid. Unfortunately, I find this happens much more with women than with men. I took some acid on a plane ride once with my boyfriend. When we were partying later that night - with one of these girls - she gave us an unusually hard time about taking the acid on the plane. She kept rambling on and on about how terrible it would be, blah, blah, blah. I felt like I had to defend my actions. It brought the whole trip down. Why shouldn't I do that? Just because you flip out and become crazy on LSD? Let me trip how and where I want. That same girl, along with another one of her friends, also tried to suck me into this conversation about how you just "need a good cry" on LSD. What? No I don't. Why would I want to do that? Leave me alone, don't pull me into your bad trip. I love LSD. All the time. In any situation.



7. People who only do psychedelics for the "spiritual experience". I had been trying to get my best friend to take mushrooms with me forever. Turns out her psycho boyfriend kept feeding her all these lines about how they should only be used to experience a higher plain of existence. Finally I talked her into to taking some at a show with me. She loved it and it wasn't a spiritual experience at all. Sure, I like to use psychedelics in that manner too sometimes. But more often than not, I use them for fun. It does't need to be this whole big religious ceremony to "properly" experience them. They are recreational drugs, after all. This is something you see A LOT of in the DMT community. Many people on DMT Nexus will be happy to preach to you about the only "right" way too use DMT. It's all horse manure. Use psychedelics any way you want. Personally, I think a balance between recreation and spiritual mind expansion gives you the best of both worlds.

8. People on the streets who pressure you to buy from their guy. They will either try to 1.) collect a fee. Or, 2.) ask for a cut of your stash. Leave me alone. Stop following me. I'm not giving you anything. Chances are, if I'm out scoring on the streets, I don't have a dollar more than what I'm trying to spend on drugs. Yes, I know I stick out like a sore thumb trolling the streets of Skid Row. It's like the lyrics from that Lou Reed song "I'm Waiting For My Man" - "Everybody's pinned you and nobody cares". Everyone knows what I'm doing down there. The same thing that everyone else is doing. But just because I'm white and female, people think they can make a dollar off of me, or get a free fix. Junk is not cheap on the streets. One balloon will  barely get you well. There is no way I'm going to split my balloon with you. Scram. Leave me alone. I'll find it myself.
 
9. Old addicts who want to impart their wisdom on you. I have come across this countless times. Last week at the needle exchange some old guy was yapping about how I shouldn't use 29 gauge needles. I told him I have small veins, so a small needle does less damage in the long run. He went on and on about how if I would just go for a run everyday I wouldn't have that problem. Or that I should shower before I use, yadda, yadda, yadda. First, going for a run is not going to magically make my veins bigger. My problem isn't circulation.... actually I don't have a problem. I just have veins that are different than yours, so I do things a little differently. I don't need your old junky wisdom. Once, a lady actually tried to pull a needle out of my hand while I was attempting a shot, because she knew that she could hit it better. That's absolutely not cool. Besides the glaring fact that I know nothing about your hygiene or what diseases you might have... I  know my veins inside and out, what works and what doesn't. If you think you see something that will work better, chances are I've tried it and it doesn't. I'm not some doe eyed innocent who happened to find herself on the floor of a bathroom in a homeless shelter on skid row with a needle sticking out of her arm. I promise, you won't find a vein any easier that I will.

10. People who use NA as a substitute for their addiction. You see them in every meeting. They are usually the first ones to talk, the loudest ones in the room, and the ones who refuse the believe that anything but this program can work for anyone. Sure one addiction might be better for your health and have a lower risk of death then the other one. But don't fool yourself into thinking you are more evolved than the addicts who still struggle with drugs. NA is not the solution for everyone. Just because it worked for you, doesn't make it scripture. Nobody's addiction is the same. We use for different reasons. We quit for different reasons. Our rock-bottoms are all different. No cookie-cutter program will work for everyone. I don't want to substitute taking drugs with talking about not taking drugs. I know NA has helped a great number of people. I personally am thankful for it. But if you are just substituting one life-consuming addiction for another, are you really in recovery? Shouldn't the goal be to life that's not centered around drugs?

Along those same line- I'll just make this little addition about NA. People who use NA to wield power over others and take advantage of their authority over new comers. I knew this one guy who used to lie all the time in NA . I heard him tell the same stories time and time again, but with different endings, depending on the point he was trying to make. He was trying to use real-life examples of what would happen if you didn't follow the program as it was designed. He was misleading a very vulnerable group of people.  Some people use NA as a substitute for what is now missing in their lives. And some people need to feel powerful. If they are powerless over their drug use, they will find power somewhere else. Let me tell you something Mr. Big Shot. Having power over people who are trying to get clean for the first time is not impressive. They are probably the most vulnerable, least confident, easy to manipulate group of people there is. Why don't you volunteer at an ICU for infants? Would  that make you feel powerful? They're just about as easy to control as the newly clean trying to pickup the shattered pieces of their broken lives. They want to believe anything you tell them if it comes with the promise of a better life. Don't use your leadership position to control others. That's an addiction in itself. And the worst part was that so many of the "lessons" he was trying to teach were complete hogwash. Like, if you drink non-alcoholic beer, within the night you'll be slamming dope.

Again, a disclaimer: I have found NA to be very helpful and I don't belittle all the wonderful things that it was done for people in recovery. But like any organization that is run by humans, it's not perfect. But the world is certainly a better place because of it's existence.
Pft. I could keep going, but I think I'll end my little rant here. I actually do feel much better.

Free Narcon for Everyone!

With all of this talk about Narcon being made available, I wanted to shed light on another wonderful service that the Needle Exchange in DTLA offers.  Homeless Heathcare Los Angeles - Center for Harm Reduction  - or as must junkies in the area know it The Needle Exchange, offers a variety of potentially life saving programs and classes. One of the is a Overdose prevention class, usually offered Wednesday mornings. If you sit through the 1 hours class on how to prevent over doses and what to do when they happen to limit the chances of the police showing up, then they give each attendee two free prescriptions of Narcon. Can any junkie afford not to utilize this service? And they have been doing this for years. Obviously this only helps a very small percentage of IV drug users out there since in only in Los Angeles. But most people don't know that this service exists here. I would suggestion finding out where your closest needle exchange is and find out what services they offer. HHLA also offers IV drug users free acupuncture, one-on-one therapy sessions, Methadone and Suboxone programs, Free HIV and Hep C testing, doctor services for abscesses and other IV drug related problems, support classes, jewelry making, yoga, art classes and so so so much more, even housing services. Pick up a monthly calendar when you go in to stay up to date on their monthly activities. Take advantage of these services, they are only available to IV drug users.  You don't have to feel embarrassed, no on is going to try to change you. They are just there to support an under represented class of society. And the free Narcon could definitely save your life.

☮ ❤ & ♪♬
D_D

So with all of my struggle with drugs, I forgot to mention a huge accomplishment! I have official quit cigarettes! I had made the decision that when I turned 35, if I still wasn't having significant improve with quitting then I would consider Chantix. Enough is enough. Cigarettes don't theoretically kill people. They are responsible for a significant percentage of deaths each year. It's just a matter of time. And at 35, my risk was significantly higher. I've been smoking (on and off) since I was 17, I've been of the birth control pill since I was 17 and I've been a IV drug user this whole time as well. I was a walking statistic for a blood clot. I had bought a couple of of those rechargeable e-cigs to try to use as a substitute, Blue e-cig was one of them. But they did help much. The nicotine in one filter was 15 grams. A a filter lasted 2 or 3 charges. Compared to a cigarette with 12 grams, that wasn't much at all. I was tried the patch and Nicorette. But I figured out that if I used the patch and smoked the e-cig, while chewing nicotine gum, I still wouldn't get as much nicotine as I would from smoking one cigarette. Although it did help me cut down from a pack a day, to about a half pack. Unless I was stressed, then I was significantly more. But then I decided to go the vaporizer route. I bought one for my boyfriend for Christmas, and got a really nice on a two-for-one deal. It came a few days before Christmas and I figured I'd break it open try mine. I got the 24 mg liquid for it. The first day I was able to cut down from 10-15 cigs a day, to 3. Overnight. I couldn't believe the difference it made. I was so mad that I hadn't tried these ones first. Now, I've officially quit. Some people might poo-poo this as just another crutch. But for me, the goal was never stop being addicted to nicotine, it was to stop smoking cigarettes. If I smoke the e-cig for my rest of my life, that's fine with me. It's not going to kill me. Even still, I've already been able to cut down from 24 mg liquid to 18 mg liquid.

I know, I know, I've already gotten shit about this from other people. "Great that you quit cigarettes, but is that really what you should have been worried about? How about that whole addicted to heroin thing?" But it's better that I limit my health risks in anyway that I can. I can justify it a thousand ways till Tuesday, but it doesn't matter. These are my life chooses right now. Maybe I get to the place where I want to quit heroin, maybe I won't. Either way, it's still much better for my health and I feel great. My cough is basically gone, it's amazing how long that stuck around though. I'm not out of breath. I'm so happy. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to be able to quit. It just makes me so upset that people are trying to ban them. They are such a benefit for people trying to quit. The stupid people who are trying to say they are "starter cigarettes" instead of "quitter cigarettes" are completely backwards. They shouldn't be sold to kids the same way cigarettes shouldn't so sold to kids. But for those of us who have tried to quit for over a decade and then suddenly are able to quit overnight with the right e-cig, they've been a Godsend!

I want to buy the guy who invented them a beer.

Peace, Love & Rock 'n Roll!
D_D


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Heroin Humor

It depresses me that whenever heroin is in the media, or blogged about it's always such a downer. Let's face it, there are definitely come comical things about drug culture and heroin use. So, in order to bring more levity to the topic... I've put together a list of the top ten heroin jokes! I know, lots of people will say this is in bad taste, but those people probably shouldn't be reading my blog anyway, unless they are just looking to fuel their fire.
So, without further ado..
Top Ten Heroin One-Liners!
1. Junkies can find a needle in a haystack 
2. You know your 11 year old nephew has a competitive streak when you give him heroin and he doesn't flinch when the needle goes in.
3. I think the surest way to get over a fear of needles is to try heroin.
4. Just watched "True Life: I'm Addicted To Heroin" and now I'm high on heroin.Just kidding,I didn't watch"True Life: I'm Addicted To Heroin".
5. Always get back on the horse unless the horse is slang for heroin.
6. the Cow was bummed because he had just scored some heroin.
7. Someone told me shooting heroin up your rectum is addictive. I think putting anything up your rectum is addictive.
8. I am so relaxed since i quit drinking. I think the heroin may be helping.
9. My friend has parkinson's disease and is addicted to heroin. He can't seem to shake the habit.
10. Why is heroin better than a man (or woman): Heroin doesn't care about your looks, as long as you have good veins.
Know any more good heroin jokes? Feel free to post them in the comments section :)
Meth Joke Bonus Content!
Q: What's the difference between a crackhead and a tweaker?
A: The crackhead will steal your shit and bounce, the tweaker will steal your shit and then help you look for it.

And if you just can't get enough heroin humor...  I thought I'd share my playlist of funniest heroin related clips on YouTube.

Heroin Humor Playlist 

I'm always looking for new ones, so let me know if you have a Heroin Humor clip that not included in this playlist :)

Peace, Love & Rock 'n Roll!
D_D